


Geesus, I truly am sorry

by Anonymous



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Aftercare, Impulse is on the sidelines and Zed gets all the action, M/M, Tango doesn't even come cause demons, Unreliable Narrator, also it was betaed soooooo cool beans i guess, anything else? there's a lot of biting and kicking and elbows to the stomach, at least i know the rating here, big brain i gotta steal that, but like eh, he had a mental orgasm okay? okay, i mean this is entierly different, it is steamy, it's present but slim because the bois are tired TM, no anal! wow how is that possible, poor Jevin(you'll know), someone else did this and i was like, this is a rape scene so be warned, violence? i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:48:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23637067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: what is a man? a miserable pile of horniness and love for roleplayAka Tango has demons in his blood and the cure is BDSM
Relationships: Tango/Zedaph, Tango/Zedaph/Impulse
Comments: 12
Kudos: 60
Collections: Anon Works





	Geesus, I truly am sorry

“…You’re insufferable." 

Zed's eyebrows went so far up his forehead at the accusation they just about touched his hairline. To make sure he nailed the point home, he also bent over backwards. Not even such masterful performance, however, was enough to move Impulse’s feelings even a hitch, only cementing his amused yet cruel smile that seemed to mock Zed’s entire existence. That kind of disrespect had no business being directed at him, none at all.

Despite the anguish in his soul, Zed kept all his 100% legitimate complaints to himself, if only to avoid deepening Impulse's patronizing forehead crease. “But I didn’t even do anything!” 

Well, maybe not all of the complaints. Everyone had their faults. 

Except Impulse, apparently, if the way he leaned away in a little sway and looked down at Zed like one would look down at an adorable bunny was anything to go by. 

“Sure you didn’t, that endermite infestation was totally natural and Renbob approved.*

At the thinly veiled accusation, Zed shifted his eyes down to a bed leg. When positive his smile no longer resembled an awkward attempt at baring teeth, he returned his gaze to Impulse's smirking mouth. 

“Well, even if it wasn’t," mimicking the sway, Zed closed the meager distance they had between them and brushed up against one of Impulse's villagered arms with his shoulder, "you still wouldn’t be mad”. 

All his stunt was rewarded with was a single eyebrow raised into an arch. Don’t get him wrong, it was a very handsome, magnificent eyebrow, and a truly exquisite arch; but unfortunately, it being the exact opposite of what Zed was looking for kind of overruled that. Clearly, a broader explanation was in order. 

“Because, you see," Impulse's cheek was warm under his palm as he caressed it to emphasize his point, "you love me”. 

“I would sell you to The Brilliance for one corn chip."

Entrapping silence followed the words. The sky didn’t shake and the floor didn’t start cracking, seeing as The Brilliance were too lazy for that, but a red bloom of flame did rip through the space of Impulse's room, right above the bed and loud enough to count. Crimson, smoking eyes and golden fires of hair came to view first, a devious, sharp in more ways than one smile following suit. The brills’ combat boots touched down on the sheets with a soft, ear rupturing rustle. Its ruby eyes came to focus on Zed. At that exact moment, its puppy kind of excitement turned wicked. 

At least Zed's death wouldn’t be something stupid, like falling pray to a single small magma cube. 

Having been the one who flipped it towards them like a coin, the brill still flinched at the sound of a corn chip hitting the floor. Okay, never mind, then. 

On the bright side, it at least shook it off fast and crossed the room in just a tick, so it wasn’t the most useless bit of The Brilliance out there. With Zed's luck, that could’ve been a possibility. Still, its demeanor was that of a derp rather than that of a danger, and that was offensive as all frick. 

Behaviour issues not withstanding, the brills’ fuming eyes jumped from studying Zed to taunting Impulse as it spoke. “So," in a swift move, it put its clawed but at least five fingered hands on Zed's shoulders; then, yanking him out of Impulse's so far unnoticed protective hug, it embraced him in a much harsher one of its own, "this is mine now." 

“Uhhhh," responded Impulse, intelligence vaporizing a lot like the brills’ hair not out of fear, but horniness. Traitor. 

Wholeheartedly disheartened, Zed slumped, or rather, pulled down in his captors’ hold alongside all his facial features doing the same on, well, his face. His display evicted a semi-sympathetic wince from Impulse and an almost unbearable increase in pressure around his ribs from Tango's lock-hug. Otherwise, he was rudely ignored. The grunt escaping him was only partly from indignance.

“So you're not even gonna argue with me?" it had the audacity to unwind a little, "Sweet! I think I’m gonna reward it with something. Don’t you two have like, a special bond, or something?” 

All there was left of Impulse nodded, kinda. It was becoming hard to tell with all the shaking he was doing. Nonetheless, the brill gave Zed a satisfied squeeze at the dangerously non-answery answer: “Since you two are so bonded, I shall give you a parting gift.” 

Considering for a second, it gave an additional nod of which Zed's ribcage felt all too well, then spoke once more in a sickeningly perky tone,“Well, more so to you than to you, but you get the point!” 

Zed did, indeed, get the point. He got the point so well, infact, that his persistent lack of oxygen finally made itself known through general adrenalin-y numbness. The point didn't make Zed very happy. The point didn’t make Zed happy at all. 

In one fluid coughing fit, Zed slammed his leg into Tango's toes with the power of ten-seconds-of-build-up-convulsion. He blacked out. Tango barely made a sound. Impulse made a suspiciously snicker-like noise, that turned into a whimper somewhere from the stone floor. 

Nothing was achieved, unless he counted a sharp pain in his ribs and an audible smile expansion from Tango. 

“Oh, feisty! I like it”. 

His world caught aflame. 

None of Zed's senses lived through the viscous, burning and sharp feeling. Cut off as abruptly as it started, the anguish only left ringing in his ears and soreness in his throat, both from his own screaming. 

Disoriented, Zed opened his eyes and waited for the world to come in focus.

Instead of the world, to focus came a bunch of blue and white blorbs. Being lightly rocked up-and-down as though he was a toddler didn’t help it at all. Unable to see and lightheaded, he resorted to mapping out his body, which was a horrible decision really considering he was just burnt to a crisp- but there was no pain. A hand was still going over his chest as he was propped up on a clothed knee. He was naked- and another hand was thoroughly enjoying that, going from his thigh, past his dick, up his side to his nipple and over the sensitive tissue down again- 

Zed didn’t scream, he felt way too tired for that and his throat hurt. He just elbowed the brill in the stomach with the power of all the stress he's gathered today. Then, he somehow managed to turn around and punch it in the face. It felt sickeningly staged, as though the brill let him have his way for its own amusement, but Zed persisted, kicking it in the stomach and trying to back away. 

Predictably, that didn’t work. The brill gripped him by the wrist, twirled him around, and put him in exactly the position he was trying to escape. Its knee and arm cut into Zeds’ skin and its mouth was directly next to his ear, making him want to scream, which he would’ve done if not for his broken up inhales that were too close to sobs for his liking. 

For a few seconds, the brill just let him struggle, all while its even, close to non-existent, hot breathing got on Zed's nerves. Then, it licked his ear. Its tongue was forked.

“Look, I know having your clothes burned off can be stressful, but you should maybe start getting used to it. Just a suggestion”. 

The bubbling, unpleasant warmth coiling in Zed’s stomach caught aflame at Tango's whispering. Before he could react in any meaningful way, the fucker bit down on the shell of his ear with his sharp fucking fangs, and Zed swore to the gods of the void, if that was blood he felt trickling down his earlobe, Tango would have hell to pay. 

However, he was utterly powerless as of now, so his options were limited to elbowing it in the stomach again, since it had such great results last time. Before his elbow and stone-hard abs connected, Zed got thrown onto the stone floor. Ouch. 

“Fuck!” 

The hand on both his arms tightened, and another hand appeared in his hair, yanking on it. “That’s the plan."

Its voice was like a bird singing in the early morning, echoing through the room in such a mischievous and beautiful way it gave Zed hives. Gods, he hated Tango so much it was unbelievable, that fucking bastard. 

Now on the floor and whimpering, Zed finally took notice of another person, also on the floor and whimpering somewhere to his left.Looking over at the source of the noise revealed Impulse, palming himself through his jeans and staring at them with glossy eyes. The nerve, Zed was getting raped here! 

He was so distracted by being angry at Impulse, he didn’t even notice Tango sinking his teeth into his neck, multiple times. The sensation was so unbearable through a weird crust-like feeling on his skin that Zed picked up his struggling, trying to roll over and elbow Tango in the stomach once again- only to have his hair yanked back so fast and so far that his back cracked from arching. From the back of his throat, a broken noise followed. It was all so undignified, Zed could barely believe it was him and not Impulse, or Tango for that matter, who was making it. 

Still, Impulse was making even more undignified noises, and was also on the floor, so not everything had gone to shit. 

With that reassuring thought, Zed finally noticed the dull ache in his fingers from trying to dig them into stone. On top of it, Tango was back at it again, digging his teeth in like a vampire leech or something. 

“Oh, fucking fuck you!” 

That got Tango to stop what he was doing, freezing in place momentarily. 

“Mmmhm, such a smart man you are. Wow”.

“Oh shut up!” 

A low giggle behind him almost made him regret his words, but at least the biting stopped. 

He didn't get to celebrate that for long, though, as he felt hands disappearing from his back and hair and snaking underneath him, groping and patting and scratching and pinching and going to his nipples, to his regrettably hard dick, to his neck- Zed was sure if he didn’t break Tango with all the thrashing he was doing, he would surely break himself. Soreness of his throat forgotten, he was screaming, definitely not moaning, almost yodeling with how freaking expert the hands were, he was going to lose so much blood his body would hate him and his kinky endeavors. 

The hands, the giggling, Impulse's distant moans of his and Tango's names. It was too much. The hands on his side and on his nipple, one snaking to his back to press him onto the floor and into the other's claws, his hair being pulled on again, a finger in his mouth which he immediately bit down on. 

Zed would say he was seeing stars if he could see anything but a dark red and amber haze. 

He could barely even thrash anymore. All his energy seemed to have been consumed, vaporized, absorbed, whatever else bullshit word came to mind as none of them described it. Almost keening when the hands left him, only leaving a weight on his butt, was evidence of that. In respect of that, Tango's next act was almost gentle, lifting his trembling body by the shoulders and turning him over, which came with the added bonus of not having his dick against the, admittedly no longer cold and now damp stone floor. 

“Now, the finishing touches and we’re off."

The brill sounded like a cat who just managed to steal a whole jar of sour cream. Cracking his eyes open just a bit, cringing at the brightness and lowering the hands he raised in front of his face automatically, Zed's heart almost stopped with terror. The brill's left hand was raised, index pointing at the stone ceiling. It was also on fire. The fire was red and didn’t look quite like fire, though Zed just knew it would burn all the same. 

The brill's smug grin widened. All Zed could hear was his heart, echoing like drums in his ears, his dick, and his chest at an impossible pace. It slowly leaned in, as though to kiss, but Zed still had energy, so, with all he had left, he punched the brill in the face. 

Dramatic silence that followed was immediately broken by a particularly loud and breathy moan from Impulse. Talk about mood killers. 

“Oh, so you still have some fight left in you? I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect that. Now, what can I do to fix…” 

Zed didn't want to find out. He did not. So, he tried to scramble from underneath the brill's surprisingly beautiful, though still hidden by cloth, hips. 

It was too obvious to work. His lame attempt at a getaway was thwarted by Tango all but pouncing on him, both hands squeezing on his neck tight enough to be a good threat and to cut off any and all conscious thought he had remaining. 

“A-a-ah, none of that sheepy boy! I promise I’ll treat you better when we get to your new home if you’d just behave, deal?” 

Zed didn’t even care. He was going to get blue balls and he didn’t even care anymore. He just, he honest to gods didn’t care, not in the slightest. He tried to perform a nod. 

Another low giggle escaped Tango's full, cupid-bow, peach and so very smoochable lips. Zed was going to die. In fact, he was already dead. Someone help him and his throbbing dick. 

Still he did his best to portray terror. It seemed to do something for both of his fucked up boyfriends if Impulse's background, progressively louder moaning was anything to go by. Of course, he was one to talk, images of what he would do to them for this torture already invading his mind, but still. 

One of Tango's hands touched his dick, and he didn’t even notice when a broken groan left his throat. Blacked out and lost to the relatively slow up-and-down motion, he also barely noted the other hand getting tighter, but he still managed to get out a small ‘please… stop’ before those amazing, beautiful, soft and tasty lips were on his own. He happily bit on them instead of reciprocating, drawing blood as a secret little revenge for all of today's shenanigans. 

His neck was free without a warning, forcing a gasp out of him. Tango's forked, genius, exquisite tongue was already in his mouth, so it didn't have a chance to be exploited, which would’ve been disappointing if Zed could formulate a conscious thought. 

There was burning on his chest. Comically enough, it was the least of his worries, as Tango picked up the pace and he was hairs away from cumming. He couldn’t hear himself scream. He knew for a fact if not for that smart, villainous mouth, he would be screaming his lungs out. Somewhere along the lines, his own hands transported to Tangos’ back, clawing at his clothes and, if the fact he could feel skin was anything to go by, ripping them, occasionally beating at the stone floor to get himself to be present through his climax. 

When he felt himself cum, Zed froze for a few seconds. However, his pate couldn't hold up his body’s weight for long, so soon enough, he fell limp on the stone floor, breathing ragged and Tango's head heavy on his chest. 

“Holy shit, this was a strong one," Tango said to seemingly no one. 

“You don’t tell," Zed's limp towelette of a body replied on semi-automatic. 

“This was the best scene in my life." Suddenly the most alive out of the three of them, Impulse, chimed in from somewhere not in their pile of boneless mesh. 

“You always say that." Somehow, Zed was the one capable of talking. A hand appeared in his hair, Tango letting out a purr on his chest at the same time, then he heard Impulse speak again. 

“What can I say, it’s always true”. 

“You weren’t even involved!” 

The hand left his hair. Tango made a sad noise. Steady steps echoed through the base, and soon enough, they were being cleaned up with wet, warm and woolen tissues. WWW tissues. Yeah. 

“Sure, I may not have gotten the action this time, but hey, I still got to observe! You both did wonderfully by the way, I especially loved all the screaming Zed was doing. Really authentic. Are your lungs okay, dude?” 

Instead of replying, Zed wheezed dreadfully. A breathy ‘I’m so sorry man. had to be done’ from Tango followed his demonstration, and Impulse giggled that sweet, adorable giggle of his, all the while trying to untangle their legs to clean. Did he at least clean himself first? 

Having realized the fruitlessness of his endeavor at about the same time as the two of them, Impulse put the towel down. “Can you two walk? Clearly this isn’t getting us anywhere, and my bed is much comfier than the floor, promise."

“Yeah, sure, but only if you agree to be my stallion. Carry me, Impulse!” For emphasis, Zed also flicked his hand- the one not busy hugging Tango, that is -towards where he perceived Impulse to be. Another light giggle was his reward, and soon, Tango was being shifted off of him to the accompaniment of truly pitiful noises from the both of them. 

“Sure thing, my lord."

His voice lacked any honorific appropriate awe or respect, being just as light as his previous giggle. At least Zed was lifted bridal style out of a puddle of his own and possibly not his own cum, so he couldn’t complain too much. Still, he made no attempt to make any of it easier on Impulse, only going more boneless if anything at all. 

He was set down onto the bed gently enough to feel like a prized glass vase, and it wasn’t too bad of a feeling. In turn, Tango was dropped down next to him much less gently and then undressed almost carelessly. Justice had been served. 

With some effort, the two of them wormed up to each other, throwing their arms around each other’s naked bodies with as little care. 

Tango purred into Zed's chest, adjusting a little to make eye contact before speaking: "Zed, darling, I hate to alarm you but those wounds will sting like a bitch in the morning."

Zed smiled, shifting in a feeble attempt to be closer to Tango. 

“I don’t mind. You may not like it, but you and I are not the same, Tango."

“Are you kidding me? I love it! I just thought I had to warn you, ‘cause like, baby's first blood and all."

Zed's eyebrows went up near his hairline for the second time that day. 

“Are you implying I’m a pussy, Tango?” 

Undisturbed and indifferent to their argument, Impulse laid down behind Zed with a huff and hid his nose in Zed's neck, suspiciously close to a still bleeding hickey. Tango's reply got eaten by him getting flicked on the nose with Impulse's just as apathetic finger, followed by some weird murmuring that was probably meant to represent words. 

In the quiet and content of two of his boyfriend's arms, Zed didn’t have any capacity to argue. 

Hermitcraft  ~~5 6~~ 7, electric boogaloo 

<iJevin> you guys do know sound travels exceptionally well over water, right? jeez 

<iJevin> i did not need to hear any of that

<GoodTimesWithScar> ha! i’m no longer the only one with noisy neighbors! 

<GoodTimesWithScar> i feel validation

<GoodTimesWithScar> is that the right way to say it, grian? 

<Grian> no

<Grian> you tried tho 

<Grian> congratulations

**Author's Note:**

> hhhhhhhh i'm going to hell, this is nobodies fault but my own and i feel no shame, i Love This  
> Thank you beta reader your help was invaluable like holy shit  
> anywasy i wanna sleep goodbye


End file.
